Napansin nung Tiyo na yung kaniyang pamangkin na bagong salta sa America ay umiiyak sa tabi ng kaniyang nakatumbang bisikleta sa tabing daan. Tanong tuloy nung Tiyo, “Hijo, bakit ka umiiyak?”

Sagot nung pamangkin, “Angkol, Angkol…” Madaling kinorek nung Tiyo yung kaniyang pamangkin, “Hijo, ikaw ay nasa America na. Hindi Angkol… Angkel!”

Tinuloy nung pamangkin yung kaniyang kwento, “Angkel, Angkel, I rode my Bysikol…” Madali muling kinorek nung Tiyo yung kaniyang pamangkin, “Hijo, nasa America ka na. hindi Bysikol ang tawag diyan… Bysikel”.

Muling tinuloy nung pamangkin yung kaniyang kwento, “Angkel, Angkel, I rode my Bysikel to buy some Papsikol…” Madali na namang kinorek nung Tiyo, “Hijo, hindi Papsikol - Papsikel!”

Tinuloy ulit nung pamangkin yung kaniyang kwento, “Angkel, Angkel, I rode my Bysikel, to buy some Papsikel… en den I pel… now I heb a Bukel…”

____________

Letter “P”

Daughter: Mommy….. buy mo ako ng red ballpen.

Mother: Red ballpen!? Anhin mo ang red na ballpen? Ano ka Titser?

Daughter: Opo eh! Titser ako. Check ko un mga answers sa papel papel ko.

Mother: ah ok. Anak Kindly read this to mommy. And what letter is this? ( Mommy pointing the letter P )

Daughter: Mommy, I know naman that already. Wag mo na akong tanungin nyan. Kasi alam ko na yan eh……………

Mommy: (inis na si mommy) sige na anak read this….

Daughter: Ayaw….

Mommy: Sige na anak. What is this?

Daughter: Di ko yan read basta di mo ako buy red na ballpen.

Mommy: Sige na nga buy kita later. What letter is this?….Pointing the letter P again)

Daughter: Mommy oi, ang dali nyan…that is letter FE. (P)!.

Mommy: Na shock…..

Daughter : Sabi ko sau mommy eh, I know how to read that eh. Kaya wag mo na akong ask ha. ‘Galing si Yaya ko no!?. Sya turo sakin nyan.

Mommy: Ha!? Patay! YAYA………………………!

HAHAHAHAHA

____________

WARNING: PG-13

Tungkol sa Kulangot

Inusisa ni Totoy ang kanyang tatay.

Totoy: Bakit po masarap ang sex?
Tatay: Kasi, may kiliti o sensation iyon na katulad ng nararamdaman mo pag nangungulangot ka.

Totoy: Bakit po mas nasasarapan ang mga babae kaysa sa mga lalaki sa sex?
Tatay: Gaya ng nasabi ko, ang sex ay parang pangungulangot. Kapag nangungulangot ka, mas nag-e-enjoy ang iyong ilong kesa sa ang iyong daliri.

Totoy: Bakit ayaw po ng mga babae na ginagahasa sila?
Tatay: Iyang panggagahasa eh maihahalintulad sa naglalakad ka sa kalye,tapos, may lumapit sa iyo at kinalikot ang iyong ilong. Magugustuhan mo ba iyon?

Totoy: Bakit po ayaw ng mga babae na makipag-sex pag nireregla sila?
Tatay: Anak, kapag dinudugo ang ilong mo, nangungulangot ka ba?

Totoy: Bakit ayaw po ng mga lalaki na mag-condom kapag nakikipag-sex sila?
Tatay: Ikaw ba eh gusto mong mangulangot na may guwantes ka sa iyong daliri?

Totoy: Bakit po sa pribadong lugar ginagawa ang pakikipag-sex?
Tatay: Mangungulangot ka ba sa harapan ng buong klase mo?

____________

Mommy1: Ano ang pinapainum mo sa baby mo?
Mommy2: “promil” para sa matatag na
pangarap… eh ikaw?
Mommy1: “emperador” para sa totoong tagumpay!

____________

Lasinggerong Anak

GIN na ako iinom ulit, WHISKY kelan.
TANDUAY mo yan, tiTEQUILAN ko na!
pRHUMis po!

Your SAN,

MIGUEL

____________

AND Lastly, we leave you with another letter interesting letter of a mom to her child… We’ll let you judge if you she’s really daft or just playing funny!

Anak,

Medyo mabagal akong magsulat ngayon dahil alam
kong mabagal ka ring magbasa. Nandito na kami sa
Estados Unidos para bantayan ang bagong biling bahay ng kapatid
mo. Pero hindi ko maibigay sa iyo ang address dahil dinala ng dating
nakatira ang address para daw hindi na sila magpalit ng address.

Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila.
Dalawang beses lang umulan sa linggong ito,
tatlong araw noong una at apat na araw noong pangalawa.

Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad nun
nabili ko na shampoo dahil ayaw bumula.
Nakasulat kasi “FOR DRY HAIR” kaya hindi ko
binabasa ang buhok ko pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay
ibabalik ko sa Walmart at magrereklamo ako.

Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa
bahay dahil ayaw bumukas ng padlock. Nakasulat kasi
ay “YALE”, eh aba namalat na ako sa kasisigaw ay hindi pa din
bumubukas. Magrereklamo din ako sa nagbenta ng bahay, akala nila hindi ko
alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng “YALE”, wise yata ito!

Mayroon nga pala akong nabili na magandang
jacket at tiyak na magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko na sa iyo
sa “Federal Express” medyo mahal daw dahil mabigat ang mga
butones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal ko na lang ang mga
butones at inilagay ko na lang sa bulsa ng jacket. Ikabit mo na lang pag dating
diyan.

Nagpadala rin ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta
ng bagyo, hindi ko na pinirmahan dahil gusto ko na
maging anonymous donor. Nakakahiya naman kung
ipagkakalat ko pa.

Ang kapatid mo palang si Jhun ay may trabaho na
dito, mayroon siyang 500 na tao sa ilalim niya. Nag-
gugupit siya ngayon ng damo sa memorial park, okey naman ang
kita above minimum ang sahod.

Nakapanganak na rin pala ang ate baby mo, hindi
ko pa alam kung babae o lalake kaya hindi ko pa masasabi na kung
ikaw ay bagong uncle or auntie.
Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na lang ng madalas.

Love,
Mama

p.s. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera, kaya lang ay
naisara ko na ang envelope. Next time na lang ha..

The current global economic crisis is a chain of events, primarily blamed on man’s dependency on foreign oil and the manufacturing companies’ dependency on petroleum for food production. Couple it with the mismanagement of creditors to lend money to people and businesses living beyond their means, which leads to more debts and not making enough money to pay the debts. In the end, all these contribute to foreclosures, bankruptcies, unemployment, high oil prices, high food prices, world wide inflation, and global crash or recession not necessarily in that order.

The United States regarded as a superpower based on its ability to influence the world in all respects, is the most hurt among nations. We wake up with the realization that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow…

This sense of hopelessness and fear isn’t only felt domestically. What it means for the rest of the world is that they will most likely be in an even deeper mess if a superpower like America can in fact suffer the way it has. For most anti-US countries, it is a cause for rejoicing but whether other nations favor the United States or not, sooner or later what is happening to the US will have a domino effect to the rest of the world. it is only a matter of time.

Already, in a surprising twist of event, Iceland- a highly-developed country in Western Europe has announced national bankruptcy. How can that be? People declare bankruptcy, companies file for bankruptcy but a country? an entire country?!

For those who think China is the new superpower, think again. They are a Socialist Republic run by communists. They have strong censorship dictating people what they can and can’t read or know. No freedom of expression at all. They even ban certain websites from being accessed. Can you imagine that if you live in China, you can’t even access Youtube or Wikipedia?! They practically control how people live there. Despite its huge economy, it’s not as strong as some might believe. They are as vulnerable as the next country especially when part of their economy is based on US manufacturing companies, outsourcing jobs in their country. These US companies have declining funds and they are shutting down plants abroad and closing stores domestically. China workers are suffering.

For the Philippines who rely hugely on overseas remittances, what is happening to the world around it most especially to the United States is utterly disconcerting. Last year, the 11 million strong overseas workers (that’s about 11% of the Philippine population!) sent $14 billion to pump the economy. There are 4 million expatriates from the US alone and about 2 million from the Middle East sending remittances, buying properties and creating businesses (=jobs) in the Philippines. This year while it is expected to remain the same, it is already forecasting a decline in 2009. Who knows how many of these 11 million overseas workers will be sent back home or will lose their jobs in the coming months?

While the US dependency on foreign oil is believed to be the major culprit of its economic fall, the Philippines’ major dependency on its biggest export- its human resources doesn’t seem to be a cause for concern at all for the government. In fact they even brag to the whole world that the overseas Filipino workers (OFW) are the lifeblood of the economy pumping those dollars to support the country’s stability and economy.

In short, thanking the overseas workers for NOT having have to lift a hand, for NOT having have to do their own laundry or wash their own dishes, for NOT getting their hands dirty, for NOT having have to sweat blood and tears because the overseas workers are doing it for them! They can be lazy on their jobs because they are getting huge financial support from overseas workers. They can continue with graft and corruption, the things they do best!

Oh as a consolation, they get to call us “modern-day heroes.” Did you hear about Pres. Gloria’s recent announcement that “From now on, call them Expats not OFWs!” She says further that “we should begin to call our overseas Filipinos expatriates because the nature of their job is increasingly more on skilled professions, and they should be called expatriates because expatriates usually get higher pay.” Huh, say that again Madam president?! Are you high?! OFW, Overseas workers, expatriates, slaves, servants- just semantics.

Seriously, that is not something to be proud about! It is a shame to say that your own countrymen are leaving the country of birth for greener pastures and opportunity. That is blatantly admitting that you the government, failed to protect your own people from poverty and unemployment and lack of better paying jobs! I would go back to the Philippines in a heart beat if I know I could survive there and live comfortably the way I can! The Philippines for all its inadequacy and destitution is a paradise to live in.

Does the government actually think we’re here abroad to enjoy the Grand Canyon or Disneyland or just enjoy the view at the Petronas towers where we can relish in the beaches of Boracay or Palawan or explore the rest of the 7,001 islands? We would not have to go to other nations and suffer if you the government can offer more decent jobs for us “expatriates.” This article shows how delusional President Arroyo is!

This article originally appears at Sinigang For the Soul. Pages 2 and 3 are on that site. Continue to read and be directed to the site…

September 10, 2008 marks the 7th anniversary of Tatay Pepe’s Restobar. Interested to know our story? Read it here.

If you’re in General Santos City, stop by tonight!! Jaz, my bestfriend and business partner is giving away lotsa goodies from where I am (US)… bottle openers, Keychains, post-it notes, pencils, luggage tags, T-shirts- all personalized! Come by the bar and have fun celebrating with us!!

Freebies, goodies, booze and music! What could be better?

Here’s the FINAL Schedule of Events for the 10th Tuna Festival forwarded to us by the General Santos City Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Inc.

ENJOY the events! Stop By at Tatay Pepe’s, we have a lot of goodies and freebies to giveaway!!

]]> http://tataypepes.com/2008/09/2008-tuna-festival-final-schedule-of-events/feed/ http://tataypepes.com/2008/09/2008-tuna-festival-final-schedule-of-events/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TatayPepes/~3/1YHC3fQF8Zc/ http://tataypepes.com/2008/08/showbiz-talks-they-said-what/#comments Sat, 23 Aug 2008 10:36:32 +0000 dmeemai http://tataypepes.com/?p=199 1. Melanie Marquez, during her guesting at The Buzz: “I have a film with Alec BALDWIN, and DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara…”

(it’s BOVICK, Melanie, bigatin ka na pala at Hollywood star na ang co-star mo, and yes, it’s supposed to be DIRECTED BY..)

——-

Si Melanie Marquez pa rin habang iniinterview ni boy abunda:

Boy: Melanie, anung masasabi mo sa mga lumalabas na tsismis na hindi ka lang daw drug addict, drug pusher ka pa?
Melanie: they are all liars! tingnan nyo nga ako, ang payat-payat ko, i am a model!

(tsk tsk.. mukha ka ngang high! )

2. Katya Santos, on the controversial Viva Hot Babes VCD: “Eighteen year old ABOVE and PATAAS lang ang pwedeng makabili nitong VCD.”

(So kung 17 below and pababa, hindi pwede, di ba?)

3. Heart Evangelista, reading a letter request at Myx: “Dear Heart, I’d like to request the song blah blah… Of course, we will grant your request. You know, everything is possible… WITH GOD!”

* di bale, maganda pa rin naman si Heart. jejee..

4. Boy Abunda, interviewing “Ssshhh…She Walks By Night” star Belinda Bright
Boy: Belinda, what is this movie about?
Belinda: It’s actually a Film Mwah!
Boy: Pardon me?
Belinda: A Film Mwah, we consider it a film, not a movie.
Boy: Ano ulit yun, iha?
Belinda: A Film.. mmm.. it’s an Art Film.

(Film Noir, Belinda, and to think you are Bright!)

* dapat belinda b. na lang name nya. belinda boplorks. jeje..

5. eto pa, iniinterview ni Master Showman yung 98 degrees, tsk tsk..hinde na nahiya:
Kuya Germs: So what can you say about the Filipinas?
Someone from 98 degrees: Ah, they’re all pretty.
Really lovely and kind.
Kuya Germs: Well, have you made love to a Filipina?

* kaya tuloy akala ng foreigners, pokpok lahat ng filipina dahil sa mga
ganitong engot na questions eh. jejee..

——-

Kuya Germs: Salamat at pinaunlakan mo kami Juday. Dahil dyan, may ibibigay kami sa iyo courtesy of video
city. Ito ay… aircon?! Aircon!
Juday: (luwa ang mga mata) Talaga?! Salamat po.
Kuya Germs: Ay…Con Air pala. Isang vhs tape ng Con Air.

6.Kris Aquino: I heard sa France based ang father mo ngayon?
Danilo Barrios: hindi po. sa Paris.
Kris Aquino: so you’re a vegetarian?
Danilo Barrios: opo. kumakain din ako ng meat.

* genius!!!!!! jejejee….

7. Vina Morales, announcing the winners of ASAP’s
Clash Dance: “It’s a tie-breaker!”

* ahh i understand. baka napunta sa braso niya ang utak. jejee..

8. Mariah Carey: Whenever I watch TV and see those
poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean … I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

9. Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks:
We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

10. Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign: “Smoking kills. If you are killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

11. Host: What is your favorite feature?
Calendar Girl: My favorite feature is my graduation feature!
(Todo explain pa siya na kesyo maganda daw siya dun kasi naka-makeup siya…)

* hindi ko masisisi si Willie kung binabastos nya mga ganitong klaseng
contestant.

12. eto, isa sa peyborit quotes ko mula sa napanood kong Grand Finals ng She’s Got the Look dati sa Eat
Bulaga:
Vic: Contestant Number —, eto yung question mo:
“What is your guiding principle in life?”
Contestant: Hmm.. guiding principle?
Vic: Oo, guiding principle, kumabaga motto, something na pinaniniwalaan mo.
Contestant: Hmm .. (halatang tensed na).. guiding principle.. my guiding principle is.. hmm.. ahh.. ahh..
Vic (grand finals kaya ayaw niya mamahiya): Para siyang motto.. like “Time is Go..” (sabay putol nung
contestant)
Contestant: Ahh.. my guiding principle in life is “Time is Gold. Thank you!”

13. ito, nung Bb. Pilipinas host: how did you develop your love for horseback riding?
contestant: when I first went to Tagaytay, I ride a horse and the horse thrilled me!
(hmmmm… bakit parang iba meaning?)

* dugyuuut!

14. Host: You’re doing well as a singer in clubs.
What’s your next ambition?
Guest: Gusto ko pong magkaroon ng recording album!
(Recording na, album pa?)

15. Host: What don’t you like about (name of starlet) ba?
Guest: She’s too reactionary!
Host: What do you mean?
Guest: React siya ng react!

* dictionary = dic_ ng dic_?

Disclaimer: The veracity of these quotes can’t be verified. Whether the artists did say the now becoming immortal lines, we don’t know. This has been passed around in emails multiple times…

At these trying times, we can’t help but call on divine intervention. There seems to be no way to resolve this. Only He can lead the way. We need a miracle! We need it now…

By Herman Tiu Laurel / Infowars / Tribune column for 8-18-2008 MON

It is now popular knowledge that the US has struck a deal with Gloria to sell out Philippine sovereignty in exchange for its silence over her bid for term extension.  At stake here are: 1) control of at least $570 billion in gas and oil reserves, and 2) the Filipino people’s right to choose its leaders and periodically vote on issues of national concern.  Specifically, the oil and gas wealth alone means P273,888 for each Filipino man, woman and child — the value of which will increase in the future.  Such a scheme will likewise perpetuate the kleptocracy and plutocracy of Gloria Arroyo’s ilk and US-backed oligarchs for years and years to come.

For over a decade now, the US has pursued a program of setting up physical and social infrastructure in key cities and provinces in Mindanao — a process which has accelerated the past five years.  Filipinos often wondered and joked about these huge US projects in places like General Santos.  Highways were built so wide and thick that engineers say they can accommodate the landing of the largest air transport vehicles.

It’s been a puzzle, really, why such an area known more for its tuna and sardines would need a highway that could land a Lockheed C-5 Galaxy.  Clearly, the US has been making very strategic, long term investments in Mindanao for purposes that have never been fully revealed.

In the cloak-and-dagger of international geopolitics, few things are really what they seem.  The motives for “magnanimity” of US physical and social investments in Mindanao, as well as, those of other parties, however, have begun to be revealed — thanks to the national blowback on the Arroyo-MILF Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain (MoA-AD).

It began with Hashim Salamat’s 2003 letter to the war-monger Bush which marked the change in the MILF’s standing from a mere rebel group to a front for US imperial and economic hegemony.

The US dangled the “terrorist” tag on the MILF until that pleading letter gave the two common cause in the “ancestral domain” supposition, which in effect cedes a third of Mindanao of over twenty-million people to the MILF, which does not even have any basis for claiming to represent over two million Muslims in the country’s third major island.

While some official Muslim population estimates reach four million, doubts are raised by the likes of former QC Mayor Jun Simon, whose experienced reckoning halves the bloated Comelec voters’ list, which gives a more accurate real figure.  But then, a nation-state is still not a cake to be cut up for each party to own; for if it were so, there would be no nation and republic to speak of.

Also, given that modern society favors meritocracy in social standing and stewardship in land use, the concept of inherited “ancestral domain” is most repugnant because it is, in essence, archaic and feudal.  The historical fact is that Philippine “ancestral domain” was long demolished by the arrival of the conquistadores and the prayles.

Incidentally, the United States Institute for Peace (USIP) is at the forefront of pushing the “peace process” on the basis of the MILF’s “ancestral domain” and is headed by former Ambassador to the Philippines, Richard Solomon, who also heads the Political Science Department of the RAND Corporation — an institution branded as “America’s University of Imperialism” by Chalmer Johnsons, University of California professor and CIA analyst.

Thus, the MILF forces have become mere mercenaries of the most oppressive force in the world.

Aside from exposing its own paucity and losing whatever respect is left of it, the MILF, along with its tactical allies like the NDF and some groups of the “rejectionist” mold have been caught in their own web of contradictions.

Many have wondered why Satur Ocampo graced the Arroyo-MILF signing ceremony in Kuala Lumpur and his subsequent tepid responses as the nation raged in anger.

Last Saturday, too, a picture of a certain Sister Arnold with placards signed KPML and SNLK came out in a newspaper front page reporting their support for the MoA-AD.   When I called Prof. Dodong Nemenzo to clarify, he attributed this to the groups’ “tactical alliances” with the MILF.

From its end, the NDF has always pursued a “destroy the national government and AFP at all cost” policy as it allies with the MILF and gets trapped by the US’ global divide and rule ploy.  As a result, the NDF and some “rejectionists” have been caught in the dilemma of supporting the dismemberment of Mindanao and the nation, and unwittingly supporting the real US interest of sustaining military bases and exploiting the rich resources in Mindanao.

Mindanao can only be saved if the AFP leadership, the Muslims and Christians of Mindanao, and the entire Filipino people unite to drive off the almost fully entrenched talons of the foreign predator in Mindanao.

My position is to win over the AFP and government rank-and-file to act as one against US hegemony and corrupt domestic instruments such as Gloria Arroyo, and liberate the wealth of this country from foreign hands, earmarking them for nation building and people’s prosperity.

Arguably, this is the only window in our history where this is possible as the US is at its weakest.

The appeasement of the likes of Jose Montelibano’ s “peace at all cost” column is deceptive because the MILF peace pact will just be the root of a wider perpetual war, in the same way that the good works of Billy Esposo in exposing US imperialism are being negated by his continuing bigotry against the national leader who had already solved the MILF problem in his re-claiming of Camp Abubakar in 2000.

Let us draw inspiration from the recent South American victories over US imperialism, like the electoral win in Paraguay of the anti-US former bishop Fernando Lugo, that country’s newly-inaugurated El Presidente.  Let us all realize that unity — among our people and the AFP — is what it takes to save Mindanao and the rest of our nation!

A Filipino friend shared this email. His friend who works for Homeland security as Immigration Inspector at LAX (Los Angeles International Airport ) called him to share the information that just happened. A FIL-AM citizen who was flying to the Philippines for vacation was apprehended by an Airport Immigration agent while she was checking in her baggage and going through the X-ray machine. For some reason, she was randomly checked and was told to open all the envelopes inside her carry-on Coach bag.

They found 10 envelops addressed to different people in the Philippines. When all the envelops were opened, a total of $11,000 cash was discovered. They asked the traveler if she knew the contents of the envelope. She said no, because all the envelopes are just ‘padala’ (send offs) and the senders didn’t tell her whether or not there was money inside.

Immigration agents showed her a Policy and guidance stating that it is illegal to import and export over $10,000 in any Asian countries to prevent the possibility of supporting terrorism. She was fined $500, her name was ‘red labeled’ by Immigration (which means every time she enters and exits the airport, she will be searched 100%), and she also missed her scheduled flight to the Philippines for being held almost 5
hours. Hard to believe that departing passengers from the U.S. are also subject to the policy but looks like it is being strictly enforced now.

The lessons learned is before you accept any ‘padala’, make sure the envelopes are opened and you physically saw the contents of it or just plainly say ’sorry but I can’t accept any padala’ for your own safety.

Second email

This email came from a former U.S. Embassy employee and this could be useful to all “balikbayans” (Filipinos returning to the home country).

Subject: TRAVEL ADVISORY FROM AMERICAN EMBASSY MANILA

Please share this with your friends and relatives.

Please be informed of the recent travel advisory to the United States.
Not only pirated VCDs/DVDs are on the hot list. Customs officials are also looking into fake bags like Louis Vuitton, Coach, etc. Please be informed that the American Association of Publishers (AAP) has also alerted the American customs officers to check out for pirated books. This information was given by Patricia Judd of the AAP.

Please warn all nursing graduates who plan to take the NCLEX and CGFNS exams in the States not to bring in these pirated books because there will be a penalty of automatic deportation as violation of intellectual property rights.

If you know anyone visiting the Philippines and coming back to the USA, with ‘pasalubongs’ (gifts) and ‘padalas,’ that are fake or pirated…

Please share with your friends.

Just a friendly reminder: if you have plans of going to the U.S., please take precautionary measures on all ‘padalas,’ especially those containing fake/pirated compact discs/DVDs. US Embassy employees have been given an advisory that as US Gov’t employees, we should abide by the U.S.laws, including Intellectual Property Rights (anti-piracy) laws.

As an additional incentive, the Consular Section recently received a report that the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) searched the bag of a Filipino entering the U.S. on NW 72 in Detroit.

During the search, 70-80 compact discs, 30-40 empty DVD jackets and 10-20 DVDs were found. Since the travelers were not American citizens, their visas were cancelled and they returned to the Philippines .

If they had been Americans, they could have been subject to arrest and criminal prosecution in addition to civil fines and penalties.

Please remember even ONE pirated item can jeopardize your trip. Also, the fingerprinting system has successfully been instituted in all port of entries. I suggest you bring extra identification cards in addition to your passport to facilitate your entry in the US Immigration. I hope this is helpful to you.

We just received word from the composed gentleman that we won Filipino Blog of the Week!! Not only that, because we did GREAT on last week’s voting, we are elevated to the grandest Hall of Fame through fast track! Sweet!!

And now…. drumroll please….

THANK YOU ALL for VOTING tirelessly. We realize it’s not easy going to the site everyday to vote… Yet you kept coming back to do it! Maraming, maraming salamat po. Thank you very much! We are even more inspired to do better!!

The story you are about to read is an ‘anonymous’ (no more) made up story that circulated via email a year ago and gained so much popularity that it has got to be the most famous and most popular forwarded Filipino email of all time! The thing is when I received it from a good friend whom I admire for her brilliance, I thought she wrote it herself!

The letter is so crafty, witty and hilarious that only a ‘genius’ could write it! Writing an intentional “broken English” or using intentional malapropisms is hard and only a talent with a knack for good English can truly write one with such creativity!

Anonymous No More

I came across it again but this time I wanted to publish it here on the site with proper credits to the ingenious writer/s. So I researched via Google. I used different keyword combinations because “the” is a pretty bloody vague word and it’s widely used like one in every two English sentences! Then I typed the entire line: “We’ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother.”

There it is! I found it via Inquirer.net and here’s what they wrote:

“As it turns out, “A Love Story” (re-titled “The?!” in some emails, “You’re barking at the wrong leg” in others) was written as a joke by GMA Network news reporters Tina Panganiban-Perez, Kara David, Ruth Cabal, Joseph Morong, Nelson Canlas and Aubrey Carampel. Gosh, you never can tell.”

Wow, awesome especially that they’re “Kapuso” and not “Kapamilya”! (I’m a self-confessed “Kapamilya” fan! LOL) Why they chose to remain anonymous when their work is pure genius, I wouldn’t know. You’d have to ask the authors that.

Without further ado I give you “The,” or “A Love Story,” or “You’re barking at the wrong leg.” (Darn, why didn’t they come up with the real title and stuck with it?!)

WAIT! WE HAVE AN UPDATE: August 5, 2008.

Couldn’t believe what I found on our Dashboard today. One of the main authors, Ms. Tina Panganiban-Perez left a message further resolving the mystery behind this magnum opus!! Yes, she left a comment! She found the site through Joseph Morong! (Big thanks for finding our site, Joseph!)

She explains that “THE” isn’t really the title and they never meant to go ‘anonymous.’ It first appeared on her blog and people obviously copied it WITHOUT attribution (bad!! tsk.tsk.) and it spread like wildfire in email and blogs…

There you go! Next time you copy someone else’s work, PLEASE include the byline!! Writers put in so much effort coming up with an article. You can’t just cut and paste it and pass along without including the author’s name/s…

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** “Kapuso” (For heart, with heart) and “Kapamilya” (For family, we are family) refer to the slogans of two competing Philippine TV network giants in the Philippines. They have long standing rivalry and its individual fans are quite passionate when it comes to “fighting” and defending their fave respective TV channels. The latter, being an ABS-CBN TV network fan and the former, being a GMA TV network fan.

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The! “A Love Story” - Part 1

By Tina Panganiban-Perez, Kara David, Ruth Cabal, Joseph Morong, Nelson Canlas and Aubrey Carampel

We’ ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it’s only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over
with me. He said, “I hope you don’t mine. Can I get your number?” Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn’t give it back? He explained naman na it’s so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i’m wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, “The!” Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit!
Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in
the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we’ll go ouch na rin. Now, we’re
so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our
fried. Kasi, I’m 33 na and I’m running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped
the question. “Will you marriage me?” I’m in a state of shocked. Kasi
mantakin mo, when it rains, it’s four! This is true good to be true. So
siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.
Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng
humirit ng, “Well, well, well. Look do we have here.” What the fuss! The
nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is
that, cut me some slacks! I didn’t want this to get our hand kaya I had to
sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don’t
want to portrait the role of the other woman.

Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, “please, mine you own business!”

Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it’s not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin
siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I’m so happy. Even my
boyfriend said liketwice. He’s so supportive.  Sabi niya, “Look at is this
way. She’s our of our lives.”

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn
the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we’ll
just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second
emotion.

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The! “Sinech si Jeff” - Part 2

By Tina Panganiban-Perez, Kara David, Ruth Cabal, Joseph Morong, Nelson Canlas and Aubrey Carampel

I thought Jay’s ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven only goes that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Jay received a uninamous text. “Meet me at the clinic”. I had a stinking feeling in my butt. I told him not to go. It might in danger him. Pero sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. Tumahimik lang ako. Sabi niya, Penny for you talks? But I didn’t know what to say. Beggars can’t be losers. Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl yun. Jay said, Can’t got your tongue?? I tried to smile at him. Kahit di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba?

Be that as is may, umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole.
After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on Jeff’s ears.
Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn’t even know Jeff. Sabi na nga ba di na
dapat umalis si Jay. That’s what I’m talking about it.

So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Jay.  That’s what
friends are for naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. I had to do this
alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plug down rate.

When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up.  Di basta-basta
makakapasok. So I said, I beg your cordon. I’m patient. It’s my favorite
virtue nga e.? Nagduda yata yung isang guard. Hinawakan ako sa arm. The
nerd! I shouted, Don’t touch me not! Buti na lang the other guards were nice
and said, Come on, let’s join us.

When I went inside, parang I’ve been there, done there. Nung walang
nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a bird’s
IQ of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a room on the
floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun.

Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. Di ko alam kung aalis ba ako
o papasukin ko. It made me stick in the stomach to think that Jay and his
ex-girlfriend were there. I tried to tell myself to slower my expectations.
But to tell with it! I had to strike while the iron is not. I had to hear
the truth from the corpse’s mouth. I barraged in. O my gas! Si Jay,
naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig sa isang nakakatakot na
experiment. He was on the cutting edge. He was bleeding. At ang doctor na
nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriend niya at ang bago nitong boyfriend,
ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter.

Guess watch? Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to search and
rescue Jay. Siguro adrenaline brush na yun. Now, he’s recovering. Nag-sorry
siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I know it’s a better pill to swallow
your pride so it’s forgive and forget me not. All swell that end swell. I
know we should kiss and put on makeup.

Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na.  Detention is
really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is:  if symptoms
persist, insult your doctor.

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Found a photo of “Genie-fer” proving she’s a real person! From one of the authors herself, TV personality Tina Panganiban-Perez’ blog.

And Genie-fer has this to say:

I’m back to back with a vengeance. Better late than ever. I was busy as a bu-sy. I hope that come one may, absence made your heart grow down there. I got sped up with so many things that’s why I had to give me a break. You know, it’s a doggie dog world out there.

So anyway, I heard it from the grave vine that people are saying I’m just a pigment of some people’s imagination. Well, to tell with it. I’m a real person. So I will proof it. Here’s my picture.

Stain tuned for the big refill!