(it’s BOVICK, Melanie, bigatin ka na pala at Hollywood star na ang co-star mo, and yes, it’s supposed to be DIRECTED BY..)

——-

Si Melanie Marquez pa rin habang iniinterview ni boy abunda:

Boy: Melanie, anung masasabi mo sa mga lumalabas na tsismis na hindi ka lang daw drug addict, drug pusher ka pa?
Melanie: they are all liars! tingnan nyo nga ako, ang payat-payat ko, i am a model!

(tsk tsk.. mukha ka ngang high! )

2. Katya Santos, on the controversial Viva Hot Babes VCD: “Eighteen year old ABOVE and PATAAS lang ang pwedeng makabili nitong VCD.”

(So kung 17 below and pababa, hindi pwede, di ba?)

3. Heart Evangelista, reading a letter request at Myx: “Dear Heart, I’d like to request the song blah blah… Of course, we will grant your request. You know, everything is possible… WITH GOD!”

* di bale, maganda pa rin naman si Heart. jejee..

4. Boy Abunda, interviewing “Ssshhh…She Walks By Night” star Belinda Bright
Boy: Belinda, what is this movie about?
Belinda: It’s actually a Film Mwah!
Boy: Pardon me?
Belinda: A Film Mwah, we consider it a film, not a movie.
Boy: Ano ulit yun, iha?
Belinda: A Film.. mmm.. it’s an Art Film.

(Film Noir, Belinda, and to think you are Bright!)

* dapat belinda b. na lang name nya. belinda boplorks. jeje..

5. eto pa, iniinterview ni Master Showman yung 98 degrees, tsk tsk..hinde na nahiya:
Kuya Germs: So what can you say about the Filipinas?
Someone from 98 degrees: Ah, they’re all pretty.
Really lovely and kind.
Kuya Germs: Well, have you made love to a Filipina?

* kaya tuloy akala ng foreigners, pokpok lahat ng filipina dahil sa mga
ganitong engot na questions eh. jejee..

——-

Kuya Germs: Salamat at pinaunlakan mo kami Juday. Dahil dyan, may ibibigay kami sa iyo courtesy of video
city. Ito ay… aircon?! Aircon!
Juday: (luwa ang mga mata) Talaga?! Salamat po.
Kuya Germs: Ay…Con Air pala. Isang vhs tape ng Con Air.

6.Kris Aquino: I heard sa France based ang father mo ngayon?
Danilo Barrios: hindi po. sa Paris.
Kris Aquino: so you’re a vegetarian?
Danilo Barrios: opo. kumakain din ako ng meat.

* genius!!!!!! jejejee….

7. Vina Morales, announcing the winners of ASAP’s
Clash Dance: “It’s a tie-breaker!”

* ahh i understand. baka napunta sa braso niya ang utak. jejee..

8. Mariah Carey: Whenever I watch TV and see those
poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean … I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

9. Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks:
We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

10. Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign: “Smoking kills. If you are killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

11. Host: What is your favorite feature?
Calendar Girl: My favorite feature is my graduation feature!
(Todo explain pa siya na kesyo maganda daw siya dun kasi naka-makeup siya…)

* hindi ko masisisi si Willie kung binabastos nya mga ganitong klaseng
contestant.

12. eto, isa sa peyborit quotes ko mula sa napanood kong Grand Finals ng She’s Got the Look dati sa Eat
Bulaga:
Vic: Contestant Number —, eto yung question mo:
“What is your guiding principle in life?”
Contestant: Hmm.. guiding principle?
Vic: Oo, guiding principle, kumabaga motto, something na pinaniniwalaan mo.
Contestant: Hmm .. (halatang tensed na).. guiding principle.. my guiding principle is.. hmm.. ahh.. ahh..
Vic (grand finals kaya ayaw niya mamahiya): Para siyang motto.. like “Time is Go..” (sabay putol nung
contestant)
Contestant: Ahh.. my guiding principle in life is “Time is Gold. Thank you!”

13. ito, nung Bb. Pilipinas host: how did you develop your love for horseback riding?
contestant: when I first went to Tagaytay, I ride a horse and the horse thrilled me!
(hmmmm… bakit parang iba meaning?)

* dugyuuut!

14. Host: You’re doing well as a singer in clubs.
What’s your next ambition?
Guest: Gusto ko pong magkaroon ng recording album!
(Recording na, album pa?)

15. Host: What don’t you like about (name of starlet) ba?
Guest: She’s too reactionary!
Host: What do you mean?
Guest: React siya ng react!

* dictionary = dic_ ng dic_?

Disclaimer: The veracity of these quotes can’t be verified. Whether the artists did say the now becoming immortal lines, we don’t know. This has been passed around in emails multiple times…