Note: Forwarded viral email. Roughly translated in English by this site, Tataypepes.com.

Para sa mga ulirang magulang at magiging magulang balang araw….

(Model for parents and would-be parents someday…)

Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit ginintuang butil na payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang.

(I will never forget the considerable but golden nuggets of advice/wisdom that I learned from my parents. )

1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako [My mom taught me...] HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE :

“Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay.”

[If you two want to kill each other, do it outside! Damn it, I just got done cleaning the house!]

2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay: [I learned RELIGION from my dad.]

“Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!”

[If the stain in that carpet doesn't disappear, you better pray!]

3.Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC : [My mom taught me LOGIC]

“Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko.”

[That's the way it is-- because I said so!]

4. At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC: [...and my mom taught me even more LOGIC]

“Pag ikaw nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa ang manonood ng sine.”

[If you fall from that roof, I will be watching the movie in the theater alone!]

5. Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng IRONY: [It was also mom who taught me the meaning of IRONY]

“Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!”

[Go ahead, continue bawling and wailing and I will really give you something that will make you cry.]

6. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM: [My mom explained to me what CONTORTIONISM is]

“Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!!!”

[Won't you look at that dirt on the back of your neck, look at it!!!]

7. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng STAMINA: [My dad explained to me what STAMINA means]

“Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga’t di mo nauubos lahat ng pagkain mo!”

[Don't you stand up where you are until you finish all the food on your plate!"]

8. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang WEATHER: [...and it was Mom who taught us what WEATHER is]

“Lintek talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid, parang dinaanan ng bagyo!”

[Darn it what a mess you and your brother/sister's room is, like a storm passed it!]

9. Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin n i Inay tungkol sa CIRCLE OF LIFE: [This is how Mom explained to me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE]

“Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito.”

[*You flirty kid you, I put you to this world from my womb- I can make you disappear from this world.] (*needs better translation)

10. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: [It was from Dad that I learned BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION]

“Tumigil ka nga diyan! Huwag kang umarte na parang Nanay mo!”

[You stop that! Do not act like your mother!]

11. Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS: [It was Mom who taught me what GENETICS means]

“Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!”

[You really took after your shameless father!]

12. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng ENVY: [It was also Mom who taught me what ENVY means]

“Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang. Di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?”

[Many young orphans yearn for a parent. Are you not thankful you have parents like us?!]

13. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION: [Dad taught me ANTICIPATION]

“Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay!”

[You'll see you little brat, just you wait until we get home!]

14. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING: [And it was Dad who taught my older brother what RECEIVING means]

“Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay!”

[I'll beat the crap out of you when we get home!]

15. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng DETERMINATION: [It was Dad who taught my older brother what DETERMINATION is]

“Hanapin mo yung pinahahanap ko sa iyo, pag di mo nahanap, makikita mo!”

[Find the thing that I asked you to find. If you don't find it, you'll see!!]

16. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang HUMOR: [Mom taught me HUMOR]

“Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawnmower, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!”

[When you break your foot playing with the lawnmower, don't you come running to me or I'll cut your legs off you! ]

17. At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina Inay at Itay kung ano ang JUSTICE: [And the most valuable lesson of all I learned from Mom and Dad- waht JUSTICE meant.]

“Balang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak… tiyak magiging katulad mo at magiging sakit din sa ulo!”

[One day you'll see, you'll have your own kid... I guarantee it-- it will turn out like you and will also be a pain in the head!]